the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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