Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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