nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
