So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize