I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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