is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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