I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
