it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
