idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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