420 ftw
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
