i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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