I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Soap is not a condiment
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize