So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
