we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
