I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
