I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
