I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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