If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
