"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
