What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
