it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
