He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
