He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
