don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
