Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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