My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
