I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
