If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
