So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize