I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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