I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize