five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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