Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
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