I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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