He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
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