Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
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