I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
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