we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
