After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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