I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
