Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
