Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
