my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
