Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
