I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
