Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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