there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Terrible idea I love it
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
