How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
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