I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
