is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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