So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
