just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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