She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
