So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
