Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
