Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
