What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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