this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
