I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
