My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
