That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
