he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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