I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
they need to just BURY HIM!
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
